Financial Issues – Death of Family Members

Preparing yourself for the inevitable end stage of life and financial planning.

If you are the Power of Attorney durable and medical it is very important to know these tips, and information before you feel drowned in debt. Unfortunately, there are many elderly that do not have life insurance, and if they do the last visit to the hospital or one bill will eat the money up before you are able to use it for final expenses. I am one of those people.

Let me explain, my mother died without insurance. Unexpected, sudden, and confusing as I tried to navigate her bills. I was both my mother and father’s POA, a law in our state which left me in a loop was since he was unable to understand his funds were not to be used to pay her bills. To my astonishment after going through her purse; she had eleven credit accounts every single one maxed out. I had no clue she had been “robbing Peter to pay Paul”, old school saying. She was very adept at hiding this from me. She was physically disabled and clearly not mentally. As I began to add up the bills and the number climbed past 24,000 dollars in credit, the last hospital visit bill arrived and it was well over 20,000. I became distraught, there was no way I could pay for any of these!

I was contacted by a dear family member that worked in finances and sent me some legal information, which helped immensely and today I will share that with you.

1. If you are not on the bill regardless of POA you send them a letter she/he has passed with a copy of death certificate. The end, you are not responsible.
2. There are a couple of exceptions when it is not a credit card although a credit account such as Carol Wright, Dr. Lenard, and various other small companies they do have stipulations.
3. The ones that have stipulations can be negotiated with their legal department and small payments made monthly at a fraction of the entire bill. Rule of thumb is half to one fourth.
4. Once you receive POA there are certain things you should be aware of. If there is a car in question take the registration to the title office and have a transfer on death written on the front of the title or you will be in a long battle of trying to get the auto in a name other than the transfer on death name. The same with a home or any large items that show ownership in need of transfer.
5. Probate is a long process that should be avoided as it can take years to accomplish.
6. Protect your own assets.

My journey is not yet complete for less than three years later my father passed and similar issues appeared.  I am still working with an attorney with the car. You may wonder why I am sharing? To save some mental anguish for anyone going through this same process.

 

Protect Yourself – Things You Did Not Know

Divorce or end of Long-Term Relationship

Fortunate or unfortunately your relationship did not work out. Only you can decide what you feel, I am going to tell you things you may not know about your finances up to a year after the ending.

Most people own joint accounts; my reasoning was at my age what would happen if Lord forbids I passed how would anyone get the money from my account. So, yes I added him to my checking account. Do not do this, use your person of significance as a beneficiary, not as an account holder. What you have done is give them carte blanche to take any money as little or as much as they want legally. You, yes you did this. If it is a soured relationship and you are only civil getting them off can be a chore. Both must be present regardless of whose checks are being deposited. If he leaves the state you are stuck. I had to shut down an account I had for over 20 years and start over.

If he did the same thing, but refuses to take you off there is an ulterior motive. If he or she runs the account into the negative the bank has the ability to reopen a shared account and take the money from you. Now you can shut down his account, but they can still use the card forcing it open and causing fees and overdrafts. Arrgghh frustrating, but it is the life of today. I am continuing to go through this process and just want him to shut the account down. He has a wife, and they have new accounts. So this is just spiteful, but you need to know this can happen to you.

Banking & Beneficiaries

The bank that will work with you the best in this situation is Huntington. I would suggest using this bank to everyone. There are many perks and I have yet to have a bad experience.

Again, protect yourself, the good, bad, or indifferent relationship never combine your money. Use each other as beneficiary, which only gives them access once they bring a death certificate.

Credit Scores

I am telling you this because credit scores are everything and once you start having bank issues and overdrafts it will reflect on your score and I am very happy at nearly 800!

The Basics

Recently it has come to my attention during a conversation with an adult near thirty that they had no idea how to budget a household or what exactly are the “normal” expenses of running a home.  So, I thought maybe it would be a good idea to post about the most basic of needs for your home to run smoothly without being caught up in a windstorm of how do I pay that.

Renting or Buying Basics

• Rent or Mortgage Payment
• Taxes if buying
• Electric
• Gas or however you cook or heat your home
• Food
• Sewage/ Water
• Refuse
• Insurance Renter or Homeowner
• Car Payment – if your car is paid for you are ahead of the game
• Car Insurance
• Yearly Plates or sticker for your car
• Health Insurance
• Sundries (dish soap, bar soap, toothpaste etc)
• Credit Cards/ Personal Loans

These are the bills you have, they can’t be avoided or forgotten. Average can be somewhere around 2000 a month. Some pay fewer others more, it depends on where you live and what type of insurance you have be it health, home, or car. Higher crime areas pay more. As long as you understand you need to pay these you are set, if you are looking at this list and saying I don’t have renters insurance stop and think, what will you do if there is a fire? How will you recoup your loss? The homeowner recoups the loss of the house, you need to cover your contents.

Checking Budgets

A new year is upon us, and I have not kept up my budget blog trying to keep up with my budgets. We all go through many life changes. I happened to be having a full on life change that kept me busy leaving me in a position where much like a budget you need to allocate your time to whichever project you are working on.

With that said, I am back although still going through some major changes I am able to handle them all. Do they affect the budget? Why thank you for asking, yes they do. As in life, we will adjust accordingly. Firstly, I was told to start writing as I speak…umm yeah not so sure you will appreciate this but here it goes.

People come and go from your life, friends, family, and associates either through leaving as in walking out or they die. Then comes the odd situation of health issues such as ALZ, that person has not physically left however you hardly recognize them.  All of these at some point require a budget change. I know you are confused so I will break it down in my situation.

• I ended a relationship since I was last posting – budget change
• Part of my health care system for my father is leaving – budget change
• Friends moved – budget change (no longer need the entertainment budget)
• Father became iller – budget change (diapers, pads, wipes, peri-care)
• I am moving in with him – budget change
• New person in my life- questionable budget change

You must be ready for any scenarios you can think of when it comes to your budget from retail to gas prices. Accidents, car rentals, new additions to the family and old ones moving on. I have it under control however I realized I had not touched on this subject in any of my posts. Are you ready for any change? Do you have wiggle room? Did you give up on your budgets my friends? I hope not because they are relevant regardless if I am posting or not.

Gift Giving without Breaking Budgets

There are so many ways to gift give without spending a great deal of money. Here is a page from the Dollar Tree with some great idea’s most $10 or under http://www.dollartree.com/custserv/custserv.jsp?pageName=Non-Profit-Organization-Ideas

One gift I will be giving out will be the Glade warmer, and two scents (six blocks each) in a dollar basket with the paper shreds and shrink wrap with a bow.  Warmer 9.95 at Dollar general, 4 for the two scents, a dollar for the basket and paper shred and the shrink wrap or bag with bow for a dollar (two in a package)  about 16 dollars total.

Another good idea is again at the Dollar Tree, hat, scarf, sunglasses and gloves in a red bag with green and white tissue paper  total 6 dollars.

Have someone that loves candles? Try an assortment there, glass jars approx six inches tall, decorate them yourself to fit the person or their home, use a basket, box, or bag to wrap, less than six dollars.

Homemade gifts –  these will be for friends or family you know well. I honestly got tired of paying out all that money for flavor coffee creamers and rarely finding them in powder form. Here is the gist of it, buy some good coffee mate or creamora , mix 1 cup of powdered coffee mate and one 1.25 oz (single package) of Land o Lakes flavor and mix well in a ziploc bag. Pour into a pint jar, label it with the flavor. There you have your own mixture of a dozen different flavors. If your friend likes cinnamon mix in 3 Tbl spoons of cinnamon mix well and you have made your own cinnabon flavor. Be creative, but be frugal.

Let’s say you feel cheap, try this to make you feel better, basket, paper shreds two cups and a box of tea in between, or cocoa and a kitchen towel festive or plain to wrap gather at the top and twist tie it together.  Now how precious is that, even the towel is reusable!   Compare that to what you would find at Kmart for 15 bucks, compared to 6 dollars.

Just a few ideas to get your mind going, let it roll.

Let’s Talk Christmas

The holiday season quickly approaches, and let’s keep it real you have already started purchasing items for Halloween if you have kids, or are having a party. You know we all do it, say we have a limit although nine out of ten times you go over your limit. A few more bags of candy, more expensive costume then you had planned on.

Some ideas – candy – well you are stuck with that one, but bring it in, when you are out do not run out and buy more instead turn off your porch light.  You rarely can make homemade and if you are making it have a little party, because parents are going to throw away your hard work due to mistrust in our society. Be mindful of what you spend.

Thanksgiving – I never understood the idea why I had to do the holiday to take it somewhere else. My home would not hold everyone, my father could not make it up the stairs, so we take it to his house. Now that I have grown adult children, we are now giving everyone something to do. If you are having a large Thanksgiving let everyone bring a dish so you are stuck with the cost that could climb upward of 300 dollars for larger families. Mine is usually 8, and others show up during the day leaving us one of those that will reach the 300 mark. But that drastically changes when each person brings their own dish. Delegate, one brings dessert, salads, hot dishes, and we of course do the Turkey, Ham, and potatoes the rest is from everyone else.  Use existing things around the house as center pieces, check out some DIY projects! Be frugal!

Christmas – one comment about it not being Christmas but “Winter Holiday” I am going to virtually give you a head smack. So, if you were thinking it consider yourself popped good.  One gift folks, for adults put your names in a hat and pull out a name. For your children, please Lord quit spoiling them beyond your means. What is the point?  You buy all the new gadgets, smartphones, playstation four, xbox, iPods, iPads, or some other tablet allowing them to unplug from reality and plug into the craziness on the web.  How about a football, soccer ball, bat, glove, ball, hoola hoop, books, I will give you an e-reader without the capability to get on and play games. Give them a Y or Gym pass for a year, that also goes for adults. I can go on and on.

Shop at outlet stores, discount stores, some good things can be bought at Goodwill and Salvation Army. Yes I did just say that. Do you have someone in your life that has a theme in their house that they have been working on for years? Can’t find anything that matches, check out those stores and help your community at the same time. For instance, my kitchen is country and I have some specific things I am looking for ex: old Mason or Ball jars, old spice bottles and racks. They have them there. I want an expensive purse, I found one at Goodwill, and let my daughter know because on Weds it will be on sale, so if you want to get me something that is what I want. My son and daughter in law can do the same with the racks only $3!  It is not the amount of the gift, it is the thought. Once you get over that the better off you will be. Who exactly set up the higher the cost of the gift the more you care?  Not true, just not true.

Be mindful, the seasons will come and go, but that credit card debt is a whole year long.

What’s your contingency plan?

If the government shuts down how will this effect your budgeting? It depends on several things, what will be affected in your life.  Do you work for the gov’t and told that you will not be paid until after the gov’t opens again? It will be retroactive although they don’t tell you what to do in the mean time.  This falls under one of those categories as an emergency plan, did you set one up? Will you be fine for let’s guess approximately 21 days at the most.

I have one for myself, and another for my father and his household that can keep us going for that 21 days not falling behind on any payments. Most people don’t plan for these things however I have had my share of emergency planning for a few years. Things come up, people die, the roof falls in, someone hits your car, you get laid off, your spouse loses their job. These are all unforeseen problems the average person faces daily. We are all one paycheck away from asking for help meaning anything can happen and are you ready to deal with it?

I saved for my father every month, decreasing his budget and putting that money into his savings, as well as the off months that an insurance payment is not due that money as well goes into the savings, taxes on the house there is a month none are due and that goes in. So here we are on the brink of a shut down, and he is retired from the gov’t so, what if he doesn’t get paid?  I am good, he is set for 21 days.

I on the other hand will be using credit cards that are low interest and paid off. I too get my retirement from the gov’t. I am set for almost two months. I have already started with the light bulbs which is making my family nuts. One in each room, that is all you need, yes there is a “hole” for another bulb, and yes we do have them, but we are conserving. Turn off the A/C and open a window. No splurging, no unnecessary driving.

Unplug appliances, you should be doing this anyway. Before I go to bed I unplug coffee pots, tv’s , all cell phones should be charged before bed, unplug them, computers and most of all your biggest energy hog in your house is your cable box it uses more energy then all the above named items plus your microwave and fridge. If you need to you can also suspend any cell in your home for the time being if there is a shut down for up to six months and not be charged for it. I have a landline that is only 9.99 a month, so I will suspend all cells in my home.

I sincerely hope this does not happen, but folks if you have not thought about it…maybe it is time you set up an emergency plan.

Budgeting –Time to check in

Hello there my few although very loyal followers. I am checking in to see how those budgets are looking this month. A few questions to ask yourself will be below.

• Are you staying on budget
• Have your needs changed
• Do you need to review and adjust your budget
• Lost or gained a job (income)
• Are you using all available tools to find sales and save
• Are you being honest and loyal to your budget

I have tried to post this several time, evidently I was not suppose to have done that or it would have posted three days ago.  The Midwest was warned by the media to adjust for a spike in gas prices, and it did not happen. Matter of fact it fell by a dollar. Something is going on with cows and chickens because those are the prices that are through the roof. Groceries are on the rise, but no mention to prepare for that. We can always take public transportation, but when it comes to food you are pretty much stuck with what the grocer sells.

I am still trying to figure it out, economics 101, if gas prices rise then everything rises due to transportation costs. But if gas prices drop, but food costs rise what is going on? It does not compute. Do we have shortage of chickens, is there something killing them or making them not produce? Why are the dairy products so high, is there another mad cow outbreak and we don’t know about it? Seriously don’t even get me started on meat prices. I am about to become a vegan here.  So, my budget changed I needed to allow more for groceries and take away from other categories.

I search for sales, there is not shortage in trees, paper has been on sale for weeks even before school started. Heck, I would allow them to come cut down a few unwanted trees at my house instead of stripping out the forest.

Each of us have different needs, unexpected happenstance, roof leaks, pipes burst, water tank goes out, the well quit, someone backs into your car. Those are unexpected things that happen every day. That is why it is so important to budget. However, if you are as unlucky as I am all those things do not happen one week after another in a few months time. My budget has been stretched to its limits.

Now get out your budget books, and go through them. If you are on track, leave it alone. If you are lacking then you need to adjust. It may be only temporary but it needs done.

Until next time!

Let’s Get Personal

Today is the day you get to peek into the mind of The Coffee Mom, however the name pretty much says it all I thought maybe it was time to change it up a bit.

I am over fifty, yes yes, thank you I did age well. How did I do it, well this answer is easy; I did it over a great amount of stress, chaos, crisis, lack of sleep, and abundant amounts of caffeine.  I am a disabled Nurse of many years, long story short went in for something simple and came out with a list of anything that was not simple.

American Psychological Association on Divorce – for those of you going through or thinking about divorce, there is some excellent advice on this site.

I worked two jobs my entire work life, and a weekend plus holiday consultant job plus sold Avon, Mary Kay, Amway, Legal Lawyer, pretty much name it I bought into it. Trying to hide one job from the other was the biggest drain on me than anything. But I was a single mom, two kids, a mortgage, and a car I could no longer drive. The best thing for me although not my children is that my ex moved on with his life and never looked back. No, seriously he just kept it movin’.  I did not care, he was not a positive  role model for my son, so I went it alone with help from my parents when I would ask.

Fast forward 24 years, here I am. Life has not been easy and my story does not differ from many of yours. I don’t want pity, because I am a stronger person, maybe a little nutty, maybe medicated, maybe not.  Although I feel I have been through some life experiences that can help other people, allow them to read and say, “Yes, I have been there too.” 

Alright, my fascination with saving money, that one is pretty simple. Lose nearly three jobs and have the ability by the time you are 30 to have worked 52 quarter in your life, then take that drastic pay cut from the government that you paid into all those years and you bet your buns that will learn you real quick how to budget, where to shop, making ends meet, and still try to enjoy life without stressing out everyday.

Social Security – you may find more information then the basics I give you. I just hate when people assume I am on SSI, no I was a hard worker and attempted to continue to do so, but could not. 

Now, there are many people that do not understand the difference between SSI which stands for Supplemental Security Income this is for low or no income people who may not be able to work, it is not based on any pay they have received from the workplace. Often they are also on Medicaid and food stamps and it can be for various reasons, born with a disability, have an accident at a young age and are unemployable.  SSD stand for Social Security Disability these are people who have worked 52 quarters in their lifetime and have developed a disease or disability and are now unemployable, but have paid into the system. You make enough you do not qualify for any help with food stamps, nor are you able to get medicaid. You will be eligible for Medicare two years after your disability starts. They give you a chance, this is what I wanted, I lost my career in nursing, because I kept getting sick. So they have another program Vocational Rehab, you go back to school learn another trade and there you go, it is a possibility that you can go to work doing something else. I did that, I went to school three times, paid for the last one myself, because they gave up on me. I have a degree in accounting, and certified nail technician with a major in business management, the third is in creative writing and theology. Do not ask, it was a phase with me. I continued to get sicker, other diseases crept up. It is what it is.

The past ten years have been the most difficult, first my Mother gets some disease called C-Def which can cause sepsis (blood infection) from eating at a fast food restaurant, which shall remain nameless although you probably have been there more time then not.  She is quarantined, put in a drug induced coma, and hence the chaos and crisis begins for the next ten years. She comes home and is fine for a while, then Dad has open heart surgery (bypass) it goes sideways, at the same time my son is in a car accident and loses his leg, my daughter runs away, because the stress is too much for her. The chaos and crisis continue, in and out of hospitals from this town to two towns over, the running back and forth were killing me. At one time I had all three in the hospital, Son in another city, Mother on 9 floor, and Father in a special ICU in a drug induced coma.

I spent many a night in the Chapel, asking God to help me through this, and he did. I came out stronger on the other end. Then chaos strikes again, Son goes to prison for his accident and terrible acts on himself, because he lost his leg, his buddy fled the scene although he was hurt he didn’t care.  And entire year of traveling 300 miles to see him twice a month with his fiance.

Mom and Dad, well she started having a tough time breathing, second hand smoke they said and they put her on oxygen then she lost 132 pounds in six months, which they say was okay, she needed to lose it. Yeah, Okie dokie.  I notice my Dad being very strange, he wasn’t himself, took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with ALZ mid stage, and the cycle began. Son comes home, daughter comes home; she gets married for two months and the husband was already married to two other women and no that is not worked out yet. Our state has no idea what to even call it. We have no annulment laws here, it is not a divorce due to him not legally being married to her, so …. I have no words.

Taking a break, go get yourself a cup of coffee or tea, that is what I am about to do. I am lying I already drank the pot I am making another. Now I continue if you feel like going on. Many will wonder why put my life out here? I need to vent, have a record, we are never promised tomorrow only the moment we are living in.

Again with the crisis and chaos for the next three years, Dad rolled up to me said he loved me and his heart stopped. We called 911, and had him stable by the time we got to the hospital, don’t you just hate those little family rooms? You know something is wrong when they shut you up in there then send in a Priest. Anyway, he came out of it fine, his medications needed adjusted.  Doctor said he would do just fine, and seen him yearly.

Mom went to the doctor October 5th or 6th of last year, he said she was in great health. She had her arthritis, Lupus, and some other things but she was more stable than ever. On October 8th at midnight my Mother died at the age of 67 one month before her birthday. Unknown reasons, natural reasons, no pain, she just said she was light headed, took a deep breath and died in her bed, in my arms. All the CPR in the world was not bringing her back, she had the choice stay with me or go with Jesus. I think I would pick the less painful choice myself. Her mind and body were tired. I love her and miss her very much. That was ten months ago.

Dad is in and out of later stages of ALZ, he wears diapers, can’t remember the season and swears it is Christmas already. His timing is off, ten minutes seem like hours to him. There are days he remembers my name and days he does not. He still lives in his home, and we all take turns caring for him. My daughter and her new fiance of nearly a year just went to do the day shift. I will catch mid day and evening to make sure meds are filled, appointments are on everyone’s schedules, and ready everything for the coming week. We do our own therapy as he has been kicked out of all three nursing care centers that come to the home, yeah he has a bad temper and mouth at times. He does not like to be talked down to, or told what to do.

Thursday’s and Saturday’s are our give back to the community days. My significant other works the bread ministry and local pantry helping those in need. Those that can’t make ends meet. Besides we all need to help one another. The people that read my blog are pretty much my social life, my father can’t have me leave the area or he freaks out. I need to be there at a moments notice if only to say hello, and I love you. He may not always know me, but he knows he can count on me.

So, here we are at the budgeting site and The Coffee Mom is spilling her guts. Budgets, I do budgets for our family. They are all separate, different values which lead to the same end result everyone needs to budget.

Seventh Generation’s Healthy Baby Home Party Application

If We Can Get Monsters Out of Closets, Bring Toys Back to Life, and Heal Scrapes with a Kiss, We Can Get Toxins Out of Our Kids. 

What is a Healthy Baby Home Party? 

Seventh Generation’s Healthy Baby Home Parties are fun and informative for you and your guests, and together you will create a healthy environment for your families! 

The Healthy Baby Home Party kit contains educational information from non-profit partner Healthy Child Healthy World, a fun party game to help you share tips, and products and coupons from Seventh Generation, bobble, Zarbee’s Naturals, and other brands. 

Hosts and guests will also be invited to join Seventh Generation in asking our U.S. Senators to reform chemical policy. For more information on our perspective, visit:www.seventhgeneration.com/responsibility. 

  What is the Application Process?

Sign up at generationgood.net to join the Generation Good community first.

Accept the Healthy Baby Home Party Application offer on your Generation Good dashboard and complete the application.

Applicants will be notified in mid August on whether or not they have been selected to host a party via an email to the email address assigned to their Generation Good member profile.

All selected applicants will then be asked to confirm their participation by accepting the Healthy Baby Home Party Mission and confirming their shipping address before they are sent the Healthy Baby Home Party Kit. 

Full terms and conditions are available within Generation Good in the “Healthy Baby Home Party Application” offer.

*I received all content and images for free for my posting, and my friends may receive a free party for their babies which is an awesome deal!!